Why I Still Do What I Do

This past week, a women I had never met before made an appointment to get her done at my salon. When she came in and sat in my chair she began to tell me that her hair was a mess. She told me how awful it was, how bad she felt it made her look and that it did not have a shape of any kind which made it hard for her to do.

Ok, I thought. As I was listening, I heard something else in her voice. I wasn't sure what it was. Disappointment for sure, sadness too. But there was something else. I took her back to the shampoo bowl and began washing her hair.

As she was relaxing, she began to tell me more about herself. She moved back to our small town last April, to be near her daughter, who is having this woman's first grand child. She told me that her husband died. She also told me that her hair all fell out 9 months ago. This was her third battle with cancer.

You would not have known it at all to look at her. This woman was not in any way inhibited to tell me anything about herself. She and I had a very candid conversation about her treatments and how she had gained weight after the chemo.

She told me that nothing I could to her hair would be worse than what it already was. She gave me complete license to do whatever I thought would be best. She really didn't care, as long it was better than what she walked in with.

All I can say is that there is NOTHING a hairdresser LOVES more than having a clients complete trust. We can see things that most people cannot. We understand hair in a way that most people don't. Having the opportunity to make hair be it's best in my eyes, is the Holy Grail of my art.

So as she talked of her dead husband, and the joys of being a first time Grandmother, and her travels and her three cancers; I cut her hair. I saw a vision of how it would look it's best, and carved out a very sophisticated layered look that brought softness to her face and volume to the once lifeless locks.

Once in a while she would look up and say, "It is looking better already."

As I was styling it, a smile came to her face that was not there before. When I was finished, she almost jumped out of the chair! She told me how amazing I was, how good she thought her hair looked. She told me, "Girl, you really know what you are doing. This is the best my hair has looked in years!" ( This part was REALLY good for my ego.)

Confession: I love doing hair. I love being in charge of how much to cut, and when and knowing that what I do makes a difference in how someone perceives themselves. I still do what i do after 20+ years because of experiences like this. People come to me with all their problems, and with my magic wand, I mean comb and shears, I can help them forget their problems, even if it's just for a moment. I can make them feel good, inside and out. What better privilege is there than that?

People Want What They Want

I try to give people what they want. But in doing that sometimes I end up compromising what I shouldn't, in order to please a client. What usually ends up happening? Neither my clients or I become pleased with the result.

You can find many blogs on the web about such hair disaster's from the client's point of view. I read a very interesting one just the other day. And I can see both sides. Let me tell you one from my side.

I had a client once, whom I had never met before, who came in and asked for a "Meg Ryan" hair cut. I asked her what she thought a Meg Ryan hair cut was. She said, "You know, messy, choppy, lots of different pieces and layers everywhere."

OK, easy enough if you are Meg Ryan, with natural curl and thick hair. But this client had none of that. I got out a book and showed her many different pictures of Meg Ryan with different variations of the famous do. My client found just the one she wanted.

I looked at the picture and examined it as well as anyone can examine a photo in a magazine. It was a very sophisticated hair cut. There were some disconnected pieces. (Meaning the layers did not blend together.)I knew from looking at the picture that my client would have a hard time styling this hair cut. So I began the daunting task of explaining that although this was a great style for Meg, it might not be the best choice for my client.

This was not what she wanted to hear. She asked me to tell her why not. So I did. She insisted that she didn't care how much time it took to style, or how much product she had to put in her hair. She wanted that look and would do whatever she had to to get it. I then explained that it would not look the same. It might be close, but because she has a different texture of hair, and not the same amount, the haircut would not be identical to Meg Ryan's.

Here is what people like this client fail to realize: even if I cut it the same way (which is almost impossible since I am not the stylist who cut Meg's hair)I can get a similar result only on similar types of hair. The result will be completely different on different hair! There is no way to make fine hair coarse, and there is still no way to make thin hair instantly thick. We can mask and energize and do many other seemingly magical things to make thin hair appear thicker, or give fine hair more body, but it is all an illusion. That is the fine art of hairdressing. We make our money by giving the illusion of what people do not have naturally.

My client still insisted that she could pull off this style and it was what she wanted. No other hair cut would do. Her mind was made up and nothing I said was going to change it. Here is where it becomes a loose loose situation for me. I loose if the client walks out of my salon without getting the service because I refused to do it. She is not going to come back. I loose if I do the cut because she will not be happy with it, and it will ultimately be my fault. And she will never be back.

So I did the logical thing. I gave my client the benefit of the doubt and cut her hair. I explained the entire haircut before I did it. I told her that this was not going to be like any hair cut she had before. I took over an hour to go over every detail with her before I even picked up my shears. She knew what was going to be done before I did it. There was full disclosure.

I cut the hair, and styled it as close to the picture as I could. And to my utter amazement it turned out very, very similar. It was very striking, and did look good on my client. She was ecstatic! She even hugged me. She said that it was exactly what she wanted. She thanked me, left me a huge tip and went on her merry way. I was so relieved!

About two hours later the call came in. It was my client. She was in tears. She said that her boyfriend told her it was the worst haircut he had ever seen. She was furious at me. Not only did she demand all of her money back, but told me I was in the wrong profession. She said I should have been a butcher instead. Because that is what I did to her hair.

I was devastated and more than a little confused. What had happened from the time she left the salon until she called screaming at me? Had the hair style suddenly gone bad? Had a different cut suddenly appeared after she left? No...of course not. Her boyfriend didn't like it at all. So instead of owning up to INSISTING on the cut,and loving it herself, she had to use me a scape goat to get back into his good graces. Did it work? I have no idea. Of course she was not going to come back to me. See what I mean? Loose loose for me.

I vowed after that, that I would not ever be in that situation again. If a client will be mad either way, then I let them walk. I put my reputation on the line every time someone comes in my door. I want the rest of world to have a good impression of me through my work. It all comes down to integrity. If I feel it will not work, I will not do it. No amount of money is worth my reputation.

Confession: Boyfriends, husbands, significant others of all types are usually the ultimate judge of some one's look. I cannot control what they might say about my work. I can only judge the situation by the two people involved, me and my client.It took me a few more times of finding myself in this loose, loose situation to fully realize the impact on my self-esteem. I don't do what I think I cannot do well. I do make mistakes, as anyone can. But the difference is that I do know what I do wrong, and given the chance, I can fix it. I can't fix an ignorant boyfriend, or a husband who will never like shorter hair, no matter how attractive it is to others. I do belong in this profession. I am not a butcher, a baker or even a candle stick maker. I am a great stylist. I love my job. Even if it does make me the bad guy with some men!

When The Phone Rings

I actually got to a point in my life, when I hated to hear the phone ring. It meant that someone wanted something from me. I used to long for the days of my youth before cell phones and PC's, call waiting, caller ID, even answering machines. Sounds terrible doesn't it? I need my phone. I have a shiny new Blackberry..what would I do with out it? But at home or at work, that constant nagging of the ring always let me know when someone wants something and I cannot escape! WHAT? I only scream that in my head of course...

Now things are very different. Perhaps it is my perception that has changed. A ringing phone is now music to my ears! I love it when my phone rings...it says that there is something real going on here. It also says CHA CHING!! Not quite the same as Twittering. A phone call is still somewhat personal. There is an actual human being on the other end (most of the time anyway)who wants to talk to me. I told you, this job is really all about me.

Technology has let us become so impersonal. We no longer need to be face to face with people for most things anymore. Not here in my world! Here, people turn off their cell phones and walk away from their laptops and have to sit, face to face with me. I get to interact with people on a regular basis, where they open up like nothing you have ever seen on Facebook. It's amazing. There are still places where people act like people, where their most basic of needs are still being met in person, not by technology.

Confession: I know that technology will never make me obsolete. There is not an online forum, chat room, or blogisphere that will ever replace what I can do for people. Now that's job security!

The Daily Grind

I suppose that going to a job should feel like that; the daily grind. Mine doesn't. I love going into the salon everyday. Having my own place, is like a refuge from the rest of the world. Even from home, which I LOVE. But being in that space, with all my tools and equipment, knowledge and know how..makes me giddy! It's like I am the ruler of my own universe. No one should in reality have that kind of power! It's addicting.

Every time a new client comes in and I can give them a new look, or improve what they have; I get this tingly feeling inside. When a client's face lights up with excitement, it's like looking at a child on Christmas day! It gives me so much joy to help people feel better about themselves like that. I cannot accurately describe the swelling of pride that happens in my head.

My many friends and clients will tell you that I pride myself on listening to their needs. I always do my best to give people what they want.

Confession: The result of my hard work and effective listening skills is a happy and loyal clientele. But at the end of day, it's really all about me. I love the feeling I get when I make someone happy. I am an addict. This is an addiction that I will never want help for.

En-V-U Salon

I finally did it! All be it in a very small town, but I did it! A new salon, never owned by anyone else. It's all me and my talents and vision. I hope that I can live up to expectations around here. If I can't; I'm not as good as I thought!

Tricks For A Living

No, I am not talking about sex here. Although great hair can help in that department. I'll get to that in another section called "Sex Hair." Tricks I and other stylists like me get paid for, are the ones involving making thin hair look thicker, curly hair straight, straight hair curly...you get the idea. More often than not, clients want what they cannot have. I am not knocking it, this is what my 5 billion dollar industry was built on. To get my piece of it, I have to understand intimately the relationship between people and their hairdressers.

Here's where the tricks come in. In many forms product i.e. volumizing shampoo, root lifter, straightening serum, palmade, even good old gel still works, or tricks and tools of the trade, irons, dryers, brushes, a great style support in the form a "perm", re-texturizing (again "perm" or even color), even extensions (did someone say fake hair pieces?) See where I'm going with this?

People want what they don't have and they want what they think everyone else has got. We did such a superb job of frying every one's hair into oblivion with spiral perms in the late 80's that now the word perm is considered taboo in the industry. Although a vital tool, the permanent wave was forced to take on new names so that clients wouldn't run screaming out of our nation's salons. Introduced as style support for one who's hair will not hold a curl, or re-texturizing for hair that needs more/less volume, perms have taken on a new persona.

I laugh to myself every time I hear someone say, "No one gets perms anymore!" I am here to tell you, YES they do. Trick Number 1. Old dog, new trick, I mean new name.

Remember wigs, and falls and other hair pieces of the 60's and 70's? My mother had one. My grandmother had several. Wigs were a style all their own. They evolved and got better as the years went on. You could choose between synthetic hair, which some learned the hard way could not be styled with hot appliances, or human hair which was more natural and could be styled with curling irons and blow dryers. Wigs too have remained on the salon scene. Much more tricky now, instead of the whole head, like a hat, fake hair is worn in tiny pieces either clipped, sewn in or glued to the natural hair. Extensions...allow for longer lengths and fuller, thicker appearance. Natural or synthetic,colored, curly or straight, still your choice. Many more trips to the salon to get redone because extensions grow out, and become visible over time. Seen any hair wrapped scrunchies at Clair's or Wal-Mart lately? I believe Hanna Montana and Jessica Simpson have entire lines devoted to hair pieces.

This is me laughing once again when I hear, "Who in their right mind would wear a wig?" I could name a few hundred famous celebs, a few friends of mine and about 10 million tots,tweens and teens. Did I mention runway models, strippers...there I go back to sex again. Trick Number 2. Give 'em what they don't have or can't achieve in seconds on their own.

Tricks are what I get paid for. I had to study,work hard and go through trial and error, sometimes on a daily basis, to find out what works and what doesn't. My clients trust that I know more than they do about doing hair.

Confession: The real trick here is knowing how to educate my clients to use good judgement when it comes to treatments and style. Learning to work with, care for, and appreciate what God gave you is sometimes the trickiest thing of all.